Where's Will Smith when you need him?

Here's my first real post, an exercise in transparency. You know how they say a guy thinks about sex every 7 seconds? Well I don't-I think about the future. To be perfectly frank, I desire to get married and to be a father some day. I want it a lot; where I struggle is weighing how much I am to pursue that desire and if it impedes me from following God's will with ALL my heart, soul, mind, and strength. In 1 Cor. 7, Paul talks about "burning with passion," and that if one does so, that person should marry in the interest of self-control. I know that a lot of people have commented on that phrase and what exactly it means, so I'm going to leave it alone and let it suffice to say that I don't know. There have been several faithful men who have been mentors to me in various ways, and those men have reminded me over the last few years that as far as "the hunt" goes, my main priority should not be to go searching out the girl who makes me change the least, but rather to make myself into a godly man who can correctly lead a relationship.

I know that God instituted marriage, and therefore He receives glory from that union, but again, my question remains, am I slighting God His dues by dividing my active attention between what He wants and what I want? Fact is, people have to meet somehow, and we are going to have a hard time carrying out our Genesis 1 mandate to fill the earth in a godly way without the majority of people marrying. So my next question is this: what is the correct way to find a spouse? I. don't. know. My experience is that I've had crushes on girls, and there have been girls who "make sense" (This is not cold like it sounds-what I mean is that these girls have everything that I could want in a spouse, and as crushes come and go, these girls remain an "ideal" in my head.). It seems to be an easy choice as to which of the two types I should pursue, but here's the catch: how do you initiate a romantic relationship outside of a crush? In my (admittedly non-extensive) experience, it seems almost impossible to tell a girl that she has everything you want without (A.) Sounding like an instant marriage proposal, or (B) Sounding like a business proposition.

The passage I mentioned earlier in 1 Cor. seems to take a more proactive approach to marriage than waiting for the euphemism, "God to bring someone into your life," so my dilemma remains, how do I juggle my desire for this relationship, my desire to follow God's calling in my life, and figuring out the 400-faced rubik's cube that is the female mind?